September is right around the corner, and in stores like Staples, stacks of school supplies are on full display. While the fall weather hasn’t hit New Hampshire yet, in a few weeks children across the state will be heading back to school. The back-to-school season can be an exciting time, but the multitude of transitions involved can also cause children to feel anxious. In this newsletter, we’ll discuss some signs of back-to-school anxiety in kids and how parents can help reduce their worries before and after anxiety hits.
Before School Starts:
- Start the back-to-school transition several weeks early: set regular (and likely earlier) bedtimes and wake-up times, and have children select their clothes for the next day.
- Set up playdates with a child’s peers. Children benefit emotionally and academically from the presence of familiar faces during school transitions.
- Visit the school in advance to rehearse drop-off and spend time on the playground or inside the classroom.
- Think of a rewarding activity that your child could earn by separating from their parent or caregiver to attend school.
- Validate your child’s concerns by telling them that, just like any other new activity, starting school can be difficult at first, but soon becomes easier and more fun.
Signs that your child might be experiencing back-to-school anxiety:
- Your child may seek reassurance constantly, or ask repeated questions such as “What if I have to sit by myself at lunch?”
- They may complain of physical ailments like headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue.
- They may have tantrums when separating from caregivers to attend school.
- They may take longer than usual to fall asleep or wake up in the night with worried thoughts.
- They may have difficulty getting along with friends or family members.
- They may avoid school-related activities like school tours or teacher meet-and- greets.
After School Begins:
- Help your child think through small steps they can take to confront their fears. For instance, you might say, “it seems like you’re feeling anxious about starting your homework because you’re worried it will be too hard. How about we sit down together and you walk me through your idea for the writing assignment?” Be sure to praise any “brave” behaviors rather than focusing on anxiety. You could say “Great job starting your homework right on time yesterday. I love how focused you looked!”
- If your child has challenging behaviors, like tantrums, you might feel frustrated or anxious yourself. However, do your best to demonstrate model behavior for your child by remaining calm, as they will benefit from your example.
- Practice Active Ignoring: if your child complains about separation from you at the start of the school day, yet the teacher reports they bounce back quickly, they are likely coping well. In this case, it may be best to ignore a little bit of whining to help your child move beyond their temporary separation anxiety. Instead praise them for their “brave” behavior as described above.
- If your child’s anxiety is long-lasting and interferes with school, it may be a good idea to seek help from a mental health professional. Providers at the Portsmouth Neuropsychology Center provide parent consultations as well as psychotherapy with children and adolescents to help reduce anxiety concerns and improve overall coping skills.
Further Reading:
Back to School Anxiety – Harvard Health
5 Tips to Ease Back-to-School Anxiety | Johns Hopkins Medicine
